Had it

I've HAD IT with my bullshit fake posts.
I've gotta stop hiding all the feelings i have in me.
It really really kills me to have all that wrath, sadness and angst in me.
I think only my closests of friends know how i feel.
And i better bucks up on my maths.
25 days.
I CAN DO IT.
And screw all the shit that has happened in the past 3 months.
Thanks for listening to me Ben, Tung, Sharon, Aunt Eve.

And Ben, i think you're right.
I just can't focus on what i need to do.

In fact i'm totally lost at what i need to do in life.
No goals. No mission. No objective that i need to complete.

Another thing on my mind.
Why must life have an end?
I don't want to die!
Whenever i think of it, i'm SCARED.
What happens to the consciousness?
IF you die, won't it hurt?
When your lung give out, doesn't it feel like being choked?
I don't want to lose my body. but if my body just can't stay alive forever, then what of me?
Argh.

Enough with the ranting,
I've got some dreams i want to keep record of.
1. Dreamt of going out with Angel, but never heard her talk in it. Mute drama?
2. A screwed up outing with the guys. And later, when i woke up, freaking hell it rained when i wanted to go swim with them.

I always tried to keep this blog clean of profanity.
But damn it. i need to let some steam out.
And time i don't have anymore.
I need to sleep.
Even if i don't want to.

Ouyasuminasai!(Goodnight in Japanese)

And i wish you sweet dreams.

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